Instant Messaging & Taking Over the World

Will Chase

carla: yea…i can’t believe how much you and bob are alike in voice and looks

willbchase: really?

willbchase: some say we’re nothing alike … some say we are

carla: i heard you were nothing alike so i was surprised, but rich said he thought you had become more similar since bob moved here

willbchase: so, the treatments are working?

carla: what treatments?

willbchase: aha! our plot is progressing as planned!!

carla: so you’re going to become a father and bob’s going to travel?

willbchase: tomorrow, san francisco … next week, the world!!!

willbchase: ok, maybe a week and a half, we get the world

carla: it’s good to give some wiggle time

willbchase: unless i can double up some resources on the marketing plan

willbchase: i think i can pull that in … maybe take some resources from PR

willbchase: we can’t afford anybody from R&D … not since that stupid johnson screwed up our Q4 budgetary estimates.

willbchase: well, i sure gave him some shit at the last company picnic

carla: yea but he got you back at the holiday party

willbchase: yeah, when he peed in the punch that mrs. grenoble brought?

willbchase: damn that woman can make cookies

carla: yea you drank a lot of that punch

willbchase: did you see it when pearson grabbed harriet’s ass? man, that guy’s gonna get slapped with a lawsuit one of these days if he keeps this up.

carla: well harriet could use it so i doubt she’ll sue

willbchase: you know, if he wasn’t responsible for the atomic transpositor module, i’d have canned his ass years ago.

carla: yea but if it keeps harriet happy…

willbchase: good point

willbchase: i hear she used to be getting it from reynolds … apparently, she’s a dirty one

carla: well with a name like harriet you HAVE to be dirty

willbchase: good point

willbchase: you know, i’ve been seriously considering — and i could use your input here — just wiping the whole IT team out. you know, go outsource. what do you think?

willbchase: it would give that bastard thompson his just desserts

carla: i think if it’s not your core comptency go for it…

carla: what is your core comptency?

willbchase: we’ll need to keep the guys who are supporting the synaptic transmogrifier team.

carla: definitely

willbchase: our core competency?

carla: yea that

willbchase: well … transferring psychic and physiological matter between human beings. why?

carla: just wondering what i’m getting myself into

willbchase: and we have an advertising arm, too.

carla: now i feel much better

willbchase: it’s a holdover from the previous owners

willbchase: i’ve been thinking of jettisoning it, but it would break old man mccrady’s heart.

carla: at least wait until he passes on…

willbchase: that old horse?

willbchase: man, he’ll never die

carla: then he can just roll over in his grave

willbchase: he’ll bury me, you mark my words

willbchase: you’ll get all the money you need from the stock options

carla: well then i want unrestricted options

willbchase: and, once we conquer the world, we expect to see a 1670% appreciation in the value of the company.

willbchase: and the stock price? pow, baby. through the roof.

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